It was a Thursday night. Nothing was wrong, nothing is wrong. Life is pretty awesome; it was Just a normal night for a normal human when for no reason in particular the nastiness of being human, the ego’s belief in separation, came at me like a battle ram: fear, loathing, lack, resentment, fear, loathing, lack, victimhood. Separation. Judgement. Separation. Separation. The ego’s forgetting.
I could’t sleep. It was definitely other people’s fault. For sure. Not mine. The list of other’s transgressions against me was long. I writhed for the sense of isolation, for the belief in separation.
At least I can now see my ego for what it is and recognize the lies that it tells me. So I laid in bed and did what I know I needed to do to #raisethevibration. To bring it back to LOVE.
I said my mantras. I begged for light. I prayed to the holy spirit and I thought, “I would give my first born to feel less of humanity’s anguish.” To feel FREE.
With this thought, I pulled HER into consciousness: my first born. My beautiful, artistic, expressive, musical , red-headed, athletic and excitable first born. I felt LOVE. Overwhelming love. She is magic. She is my elixir.
As soon as I thought of HER, I felt LOVE and with the LOVE, effortlessly thoughts of my second born, her sister, her sassy, silly, bright, vivacious, beautiful and Eddie Haskelish little sister, floated into consciousness. Just more love. LOVE. My other elixir.
With very little effort, just the awareness of my angels, I was bathed in LOVE. Sweet relief: just by feeling LOVE, I quieted the rantings of the ego and I basked in oneness. My pain and my anguish were gone. I felt and remembered the one and only truth . . . there are only two emotions: fear and LOVE. Fear is the ego’s belief in separation, LOVE is the soul’s remembering of oneness. LOVE conquers all.
I’ll have to do this again, and again, and again …. and then again and again some more. Tomorrow and the day after. Because the ego is insatiable and relentless in its rantings.
Sometimes loving my daughters will pull me into love, sometimes feeling nature will pull me into love, sometimes I’ll relish in my own sweet surrender.
While oneness is the only reality, feeling oneness is never guaranteed, it often takes effort. In our humanness, we generally default to believing in separation and give the ego space for its barrage.
So I will always reach. I will reach and keep on reaching for a higher vibration, because it is never guaranteed. So I will do the work. Because fear is no longer an option. Watch out ego, I see you for what you are and I’m done listening to you.
#raisethevibration.It is never the easiest path, but it is the only right path. Bathe in love. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. The only sweet release.
